New Years Resolutions, I Mean Relations
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“You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family.”
So very true. But can we extend the grace and unconditional love to our circle of friends, the same way that we can towards our family (or the 5 people you spend the most time with)?
God knows and tells us that we are put on this earth in interact, to engage in relationship with other humans. This is how we grow, make memories, experience joy and life. Even for those of us who tend to be more introverted; we still gain from relationship.
No, we cannot choose our families and yes, we can choose our friends. But one vital piece we need to remember is that we are all human. Humans all make mistakes. We all mess up and have regrets. We are all flawed. Can we recognize that and engage in relationship, not out of assignment but choice, with extended grace and love? Can we grant our family and circle of friends the grace and space for mistake, while still loving them unconditionally?
I think many times the answer to this question is that simply, we do not. We expect that life comes with family quarrels and contentions but our expectations, when it comes to friendships, tend to be different; having no highs and lows, no growing pains, no upset. What does an EKG look like with no highs or lows? It’s a flatline. Dead.
Our families are supposed to be the ones who LOVE us unconditionally; despite our flaws, our moods and our mistakes. Family is our “safe place,” our source of unfaltering love. We may get upset with each other, but underneath the upset is love.
Can we find this in our circle of friends too? Most often times, these are the people we are spending MORE time with, so should we feel that same sense of unconditional love and support with THOSE we choose to spend most of our time with?
In most scenarios, family members are the ones we are closest to. They are the ones who know us best, the ones we are most vulnerable with. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is also opening our hearts to faith; which comes with a gamut of emotion, including pain and disappointment. The ones who we open our hearts to are also the ones who can leave scars. BUT, more importantly they are the ones we can pour love INTO and allow ourselves to receive love FROM. We are all worthy of this kind of love, from family and friends.
Are there any relationships in your life that you need to extend some grace to? All of our situations are different, but most of us mean no harm to a friendship or to our family members, however, we all make mistakes. Maybe in 2016, you can love fully and extend that extra bit of grace and space for mistake and healing…your relationships and soul will be fulfilled, I promise.
Matthew 19:19 Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Those who have broken our hearts can teach us to love as He loves.
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